(This photo is me going off to write the jokes for my special.)

kamalamabangbang asked you:
For David: What’s the most annoying Irish stereotype that you’ve had to deal with in your international travels?

Firstly, before I answer any of these, I need to point out that Ireland is playing our most important football match for ten years in three hours, and while I don’t get nervous before gigs, I absolutely shit myself before football matches. So I will answer your questions as best I can, but there will be a subtle anti-Spanish bias (WE ARE PLAYING SPAIN AND THEY ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS AND POSSIBLY THE BEST INTERNATIONAL TEAM EVER ASSEMBLED AND WE ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT THE MOMENT) and I may use a lot of soccer analogies.

The most annoying stereotype is that we lack flair in the middle of the field. This team does, but the manager is so conservative he has picked a very defensive pair. We have flair players. Are they big game players? Is this the day to try them? Who knows. Seriously, who knows.

Anonymous asked you:
For DOD, As the Irish are the ugliest nation on the planet, do you find it is easier to win audiences over when they are not threatened by your good looks. From an Irish man

Firstly, have you ever been to Iceland? The ladies are famously beautiful and the men are even more Irish looking than Irish men. The legend is that the Vikings retired there but came via Ireland and England and stole all of our hotties. My point is, these things are relative. And relative to the Icelanders, we are sexbombs. And relative to the Spanish, ugh. 

electrolinks asked you:
Why whimsy? Why not Sillyness?

Oh i don’t know. Originally some crappy review I got at the Edinburgh Fringe called what I did “low energy musical whimsy”, so I decided to annoy them by slowing it down even more to create Very Low Energy Musical Whimsy. It is very silly. Look, it’s got a stupid plastic keyboard from 1986! But ‘whimsy’ is a much funnier word than silly.  

Anonymous asked you:
Hi David, whats the quickest way for me to make it into your beefs 2013?

Yes, I agree, Spain have the two greatest club teams in the world at the moment in Real Madrid and Barcelona. But how reliant are these clubs on Messi and Ronaldo, an Argentinian and a man from Potugal? I’m not saying Spain lack creativity, I’m just saying if we could surprise them, but not playing exactly the way they think we will, then we might have a chance. Some bookies are saying 4 - 0 Spain already, so you’re probably right.

Anonymous asked you:
David: If you had a choice between being any villain from fiction or history, who would you be?

I am the 1990 East Leinster under 14 triple jump bronze medallist. That much you cannot argue with. I have the medal in a drawer not ten feet from where I am typing this. Does that make me a hero? Some would say yes. Particularly the boy who came 4th. As a hero, could I be co-opted to the dark side? Could the forces of evil try to use my triple jumping for their dastardly ends? THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. So in answer to your question, I don’t really know.

textvlogdaze asked you:
David O’Doherty: Is your beard on backwards?

I like this question. Can we get more questions like this please? I DON’T HAVE A BEARD. YOU JUST HAVE HAIR STUFFED IN YOUR EYES.

-David O’Doherty

For the next couple hours, David O’Doherty is manning our Ask box to answer your questions. Submit them here, then tune in to the premiere of David O’Doherty: The Half Hour, tomorrow at 11/10c.