seancurry1 asked you:Dear Kristen I was eating my oreos and suddenly slipped into an alternate dimension by accident. This place smells of cannonade and fills my ears with the unanswered cries of a thousand extinguished civilizations. So what’s a smart, hip way to lose weight for bikini season?
Do not lose weight! With the undeniable climate change you should let your body be your guide. If it needs to pack it on in these challenging times then you must obey. 
tanchancey asked you:Kristen, does Jon Stewart have a friendly disposition or is he really serious?
Jon Stewart is the best boss you’ll ever have. He is friendly, funny, and humble. He is seriously thoughtful.  
somaticsedition asked you:(question for Kristen Schaal) If there was a magic machine that allowed you to physically be any character you have ever acted/voiced for and live in their “real” world for a week, which character would you choose and why?
That’s tough! How do I choose? With Louise, I could hang with her awesome family and be sweetly diabolical. With Mabel, I could be goofy and go on supernatural adventures! With Trixie, I’d meet Andy! So I suppose every animated character always.
Anonymous asked you:Hi Kristen. You seemed unhappy with your special on Comedy Bang Bang and you’ve tweeted a few times that fans shouldn’t watch it. I can’t tell at this point if you mean it or not.
 OF COURSE I MEANT IT!
birdmadboy asked you:Kristen, you are so cute and sexy and funny and I love you. Will you take my V card??????
As much as I would love to add to my collection of V cards, I am a married lady. And you have great taste, so I am confident that you will find a taker. 
Anonymous asked you:KS, if you could kiss anybody right now with your hand on their butt, who would that person be?
Beyonce? J-Lo? Whose butt is insured, again?  
Anonymous asked you:This one’s for Kristen Schaal. In your experience, what has been your most successful method to seducing a man?
Bucking all social mores.  
artclasshero asked you:Hey Kristen! In addition to being hilarious in live action roles you pop up randomly in animated roles (which are just as hilarious) I want to know if you have a favorite animated role that you’ve played/play.
I do have a soft spot for Louise in Bob’s Burgers. She’s smart, manipulative, and being nine years old-vulnerable.  
Anonymous asked you:Hey Kristen, I haven’t seen much of your comedy, but I’m highly interested in seeing you. Can you describe your stand up in 1 - 3 sentences?
It’s a bit blue, meaning dirty. It’s unconventional. Akwardable?
- - -
Kristen Schaal is answering fan questions live right now! Submit them to our Ask box, then don’t miss the premiere of Kristen Schaal: Live at The Fillmore, Monday at midnight.

seancurry1 asked you:
Dear Kristen I was eating my oreos and suddenly slipped into an alternate dimension by accident. This place smells of cannonade and fills my ears with the unanswered cries of a thousand extinguished civilizations. So what’s a smart, hip way to lose weight for bikini season?

Do not lose weight! With the undeniable climate change you should let your body be your guide. If it needs to pack it on in these challenging times then you must obey. 

tanchancey asked you:
Kristen, does Jon Stewart have a friendly disposition or is he really serious?

Jon Stewart is the best boss you’ll ever have. He is friendly, funny, and humble. He is seriously thoughtful.  

somaticsedition asked you:
(question for Kristen Schaal) If there was a magic machine that allowed you to physically be any character you have ever acted/voiced for and live in their “real” world for a week, which character would you choose and why?

That’s tough! How do I choose? With Louise, I could hang with her awesome family and be sweetly diabolical. With Mabel, I could be goofy and go on supernatural adventures! With Trixie, I’d meet Andy! So I suppose every animated character always.

Anonymous asked you:
Hi Kristen. You seemed unhappy with your special on Comedy Bang Bang and you’ve tweeted a few times that fans shouldn’t watch it. I can’t tell at this point if you mean it or not.

 OF COURSE I MEANT IT!

birdmadboy asked you:
Kristen, you are so cute and sexy and funny and I love you. Will you take my V card??????

As much as I would love to add to my collection of V cards, I am a married lady. And you have great taste, so I am confident that you will find a taker. 

Anonymous asked you:
KS, if you could kiss anybody right now with your hand on their butt, who would that person be?

Beyonce? J-Lo? Whose butt is insured, again?  

Anonymous asked you:
This one’s for Kristen Schaal. In your experience, what has been your most successful method to seducing a man?

Bucking all social mores.  

artclasshero asked you:
Hey Kristen! In addition to being hilarious in live action roles you pop up randomly in animated roles (which are just as hilarious) I want to know if you have a favorite animated role that you’ve played/play.

I do have a soft spot for Louise in Bob’s Burgers. She’s smart, manipulative, and being nine years old-vulnerable.  

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Kristen, I haven’t seen much of your comedy, but I’m highly interested in seeing you. Can you describe your stand up in 1 - 3 sentences?

It’s a bit blue, meaning dirty. It’s unconventional. Akwardable?

- - -

Kristen Schaal is answering fan questions live right now! Submit them to our Ask box, then don’t miss the premiere of Kristen Schaal: Live at The Fillmore, Monday at midnight.

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