toddbarry:

7/23-26 - MONTREAL, QB - Just For Laughs Festival
8/12 - SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Outside Lands Festival
# 8/15 - COLUMBIA, SC - Tapps Arts Center
# 8/16 - CHARLESTON, SC - The Pour House  
# 8/17 - RALEIGH, NC - Kings Barcade  
# 8/18 - RICHMOND, VA - Gallery 5  
# 8/19 - ASHEVILLE, NC - Grey Eagle  
# 8/21 - NASHVILLE, TN - Exit/In 
# 8/22 - KNOXVILLE, TN - Pilot Light
# 8/23 - ATHENS, GA - 40 Watt Club  
# 8/24 - ATLANTA, GA - Plaza Theatre

# SUMMER VALUE TOUR 2012. with NEIL HAMBURGER & SPECIAL GUEST BRENDON WALSH!

toddbarry:

Tickets on sale now!
 

8/15 - COLUMBIA, SC - Tapps Arts Center
8/16 - CHARLESTON, SC - The Pour House  
8/17 - RALEIGH, NC - Kings Barcade  
8/18 - RICHMOND, VA - Gallery 5  
8/19 - ASHEVILLE, NC - Grey Eagle  
8/21 - NASHVILLE, TN - Exit/In 
8/22 - KNOXVILLE, TN - Pilot Light
8/23 - ATHENS, GA - 40 Watt Club  
8/24 - ATLANTA, GA - Plaza Theatre 

toddbarry:

SUMMER VALUE TOUR 2012
TODD BARRY and NEIL HAMBURGER with special guest BRENDON WALSH

Tickets on sale now!

8/15 - COLUMBIA, SC - Tapp’s Arts Center
8/16 - CHARLESTON, SC - The Pour House  
8/17 - RALEIGH, NC - Kings Barcade  
8/18 - RICHMOND, VA - Gallery 5  
8/19 - ASHEVILLE, NC - Grey Eagle  
8/21 - NASHVILLE, TN - Exit/In 
8/22 - KNOXVILLE, TN - Pilot Light
8/23 - ATHENS, GA - 40 Watt Club  
8/24 - ATLANTA, GA - Plaza Theatre 

Brendon Walsh on karaoke: “I never thought to myself, ‘Man, I really love all the songs of Journey, but I always thought they’d be really awesome if Teresa from Human Resources would sing them to me after a couple of frozen margaritas.’”

Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour premieres tonight at 11/10c!

Anonymous asked you:
Hey! It’s me (you). How do you think this is going so far? Have you ordered food yet?

Don’t forget to fill your prescriptions! It’s probably not going that great since I wrote this question to myself and the next question is from my idiot friend, Neil Mahoney. I did order food and it has already arrived! I got eggplant parmigiana from Hard Times Pizza! We’re eating it now! I’LL FILL THE PRESCRIPTIONS AFTER THIS GET OFF MY BACK! Let’s get faded as shit tonight, what do you say? OK!!!!! :)

Anonymous asked you:
Who was that awesome recent guest on the Bone Zone? The guy who directed that awesome and totally funny movie Freak Dance? He definitely seemed to have the biggest “you-know-what” out of all of you.

Hi Neil. Yes you directed the movie Freak Dance that people can get onDemand and shit. You have the biggest what? Collection of children’s underwear ads from the Sears Catalogue? Yes you do. GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE!!!

Anonymous asked you:
Are those tattoos on your toes? whats it say?

I have OZZY RULES tattooed on my toes. That’s the OZZY foot. There’s a bat on the pinky toe.

Anonymous asked you:
What did the worst fart you ever smelled smell like?

Janice Dickinson

Anonymous asked you:
do you dye your beard

I dye my dick. RIP http://tinyurl.com/84n6u96

Anonymous asked you:
Bone Zone in the house!! What’s your beef with that asshole Duncan trussell all about dawg? He seems like a real shithead

Duncan Trussell actually doesn’t exist. He is a filthy pot smoking hippie character that I created. Keep your eyes peeled for Duncan Trussell action figures next fall! you can find them wherever garbage bags are sold! http://tinyurl.com/yzcres4

—

Okay!

Thanks for asking me questions, everyone. I hope you enjoy my Half Hour special on Comedy Central tomorrow. Now go out and be nice to each other and learn how to spell. Also, stop watching shit just to hate it. It’s not healthy- The Kardashians, Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, stop watching those things. It’s negative and hateful. If you surround yourself with positivity, you will attract positive things to you!

Word to all of your mothers!

Love,

B. M. Walsh

Anonymous asked you:
As self-styled “King of the Poop Jokes”, how often would you say you “work on new material”.

You must have me confused with someone else. I’m known as the “Duke of Urine Humor”.

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Brendon, A/S/L? and what are you wearing right now?

I don’t know what A/S/L means- is that like SMD? I’m wearing 17 tuxedos and a deep sea diving helmet.

blain0 asked you:
If there was one piece of advice you wished someone told you when you started comedy what would it be?

Start 10 years earlier.

Anonymous asked you:
Who is you favorite feature act right now?

They’re all tied for being my favorites! I like everyone and everything!

Anonymous asked you:
Any tips on getting rid of a particularly bad dick stink?

Chop off your dick and throw it in a garbage disposal. Destroy your computer too, so you are never tempted to write some dumb shit like that again.

Submit your questions for Brendon Walsh here. Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour premieres tomorrow at 11/10c.

(Here’s another pic- it’s why I was late today- fucked my leg up skating now it’s infected.

I’m awesome at skating.)

Anonymous asked you:
What’s your favorite smell?

Your dad’s hair

ipadsketches asked you:
I saw you at the improv the other night. You were funny but I think you might have been eyeballing my woman? Were you eyeballing my woman?

I don’t know- send a pic. Was I so funny that you would let me bang her if I want to. You’re not allowed to watch :(

Anonymous asked you:
Who actually is that crazy ex-wife person you used to tweet at a lot?

That’s my ex-wife, Trish (@trish_walsh) we agreed to stop fighting publicly on Twitter and she’s been sticking to it so far. She is also the mother of our son, Trevor (@trevor_walsh) who is a really good kid.

Anonymous asked you:
When are the bone zone shirts coming?

In the next month or so! Thanks for asking.

Anonymous asked you:
why do you laugh that way?

Because it’s really secret crying.

Submit your questions for Brendon Walsh here. Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour premieres tomorrow at 11/10c.

Anonymous asked you:
Brendan Walsh, what do I do if my girlfriend’s really sexually repressed? I just want her to be happy. 

Break up with her and start dating dudes.

fattmernandez asked you:
Dear Brendon, how much pussy is “too much pussy”? Is there a number? Do you go by smell?

Sometimes one pussy can be too much.

Anonymous asked you:
For Brendon: I’m thinking of growing a beard. In your Premium Blend set, you didn’t have facial hair. How has having a beard affected your career?

Now I only audition to play homeless guys, unabombers, or any other paunchy hipster in his 30’s. Shaving it off right now!

Anonymous asked you:
Is there a zone specifically for a bone, and where would that zone be found?

The Bonezone is all around us- in everything we see, feel, touch, breathe, drink, eat, pray, and love.

-Brendon Walsh

Brendon Walsh is manning our Ask box and answering your questions. Submit them here, then don’t miss the premiere of Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour, tomorrow at 11/10c.

Don’t forget, Brendon Walsh will be taking over our Ask box today to answer your questions live from 3pm EST / 12 PST to 5 pm EST / 2 pm PST.

Feel free to start submitting questions now, but be sure to mention they’re for Brendon.

Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour premieres tomorrow at 11/10c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Brendon Walsh

To celebrate his new stand-up special Brendon Walsh: The Half Hour premiering Friday at 11/10c, Brendon will take your questions! Brendon is an accomplished stand-up who toured as Doug Stanhope’s opener from 2006-2008. He’s appeared on John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show, Premium Blend, Conan and more.

Brendon will take over our Ask box tomorrow to answer your questions live from 3pm EST / 12 PST to 5 pm EST / 2 pm PST. 

Start submitting questions now, but be sure to mention they’re for Brendon. Want to get to know Brendon a little better before tomorrow? Click the image to watch an exclusive interview.