Whatever happens on the Breaking Bad finale, it won’t be as straight-up erudite as Breaking Abbey.

Whatever happens on the Breaking Bad finale, it won’t be as straight-up erudite as Breaking Abbey.

behindamyschumer:

Finding Taylor Swift lacking in dirty, dirty sex jokes? Think Dr Who needs a little shot of smut? Remix your favorite Amy quote with your favorite pop culture icon, tag it “Amy Schumer,” and we’ll repost our favorites on the Comedy Central Tumblr and Facebook. 
Here’s a handful of Amy quotes to get you started:
“I’m a little sluttier than the average bear”
“You feel like such a dirty whore buying plan b. It is so embarrassing because it’s over the counter but you have to ask your pharmacist, and they know what you want but they make you ask. They’re lookin’ at me, I’m like, you see where my eyeliner is just give it to me.”
“No one’s ever cum on my face. That surprises a lot of people. Never caught one up top as they say in the biz.”
Amy’s new show, Inside Amy Schumer, airs Tuesdays 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central, but you can go behind the scenes of the show right now on Behind Amy Schumer.

behindamyschumer:

Finding Taylor Swift lacking in dirty, dirty sex jokes? Think Dr Who needs a little shot of smut? Remix your favorite Amy quote with your favorite pop culture icon, tag it “Amy Schumer,” and we’ll repost our favorites on the Comedy Central Tumblr and Facebook.

Here’s a handful of Amy quotes to get you started:

  • “I’m a little sluttier than the average bear”
  • “You feel like such a dirty whore buying plan b. It is so embarrassing because it’s over the counter but you have to ask your pharmacist, and they know what you want but they make you ask. They’re lookin’ at me, I’m like, you see where my eyeliner is just give it to me.”
  • “No one’s ever cum on my face. That surprises a lot of people. Never caught one up top as they say in the biz.”

Amy’s new show, Inside Amy Schumer, airs Tuesdays 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central, but you can go behind the scenes of the show right now on Behind Amy Schumer.

Click the gif to watch the uncensored version of Breaking Abbey from Thursday’s Colbert Report, and stick around for Stephen’s performance of “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” with Sean Lennon, Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy.

Click the gif to watch the uncensored version of Breaking Abbey from Thursday’s Colbert Report, and stick around for Stephen’s performance of “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” with Sean Lennon, Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy.