Anonymous asked you:
Tell us about a time where you bombed and what you learned from the experience.

Last time I bombed was at the Dave and Buster’s comedy night. What I learned. NO MORE BLACK FACE

Anonymous asked you:
If you could guest star on any show what would it be and who would you play?

Jag as Jag 

Anonymous asked you:
For Dan, what can we expect from Hell Hole?

You know that show Homicide Life on the Street? Well, it’s just that show but we changed the character names. 

Anonymous asked you:
What’s your favorite kind of place to perform in?

Take Back the Night Rallies and Children’s Hospitals. 

Anonymous asked you:
Dan—how would you describe your comedy?

Brett Butler meets “Are We There Yet?”

Anonymous asked you:
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received from another comedian, and who gave it to you?

“PLEASE TALK ABOUT RAPE SO I CAN HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT” - every blogger

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That’ll do it for this installment of Ask a Professional Comedian. A sincere thanks to Dan St. Germain for participating and to everyone who sent in questions!

The Half Hour: Dan St. Germain premieres tonight at 12:00a/11:00c, followed by The Half Hour: Sean O’Connor.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Dan St. Germain

Anonymous asked you:
Dan! What did you do after you taped your Half Hour?

After I taped the half hour I returned a medal to a comic’s family who died at an open mic with me three years ago. 

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Dan, what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you while you were on the road?

Let’s just say it rhymes with SCHMORGAN STRAFFICING 

Anonymous asked you:
If you weren’t doing stand-up, what would you be doing?

Working at a youth center, teaching kids about basketball and Christ. 

Anonymous asked you:
Who is your favorite comic, living or dead?

Living: Gallagher 2. Dead: Gallagher 4 (HE’S REAL INDIE) 

Anonymous asked you:
Any advice for a comedian that’s just starting out?

“Follow your dreams… I did” (Dan, in white suit, ascends into heaven holding his magical umbrella) 

Anonymous asked you:
For dan st. germain - how did you decide what to wear onstage for your half hour

I have a team of stylists who picked something that makes me look most like a fat seventies drug dealer. 

Anonymous asked you:
What’s the funniest thing you taped for Best Week Ever that didn’t make air this season?

I called Abigail Breslin the N word.

Dan St. Germain is answering your questions right now! Submit them here, then be sure to watch The Half Hour: Dan St. Germain tonight at 12:00a/11:00c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Dan St. Germain

Got questions for Dan St. Germain? Submit them here and he’ll answer them tomorrow!

In the meantime, click here for a clip from The Half Hour: Dan St. Germain, premiering tomorrow night at 12a/11c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Sean O’Connor

Anonymous asked you:
do you like root beer?

No, should I? I grew up in ROOT BEER COUNTRY and I never liked it. Nothing beats Coke. 

Anonymous asked you:
Sean, what do you think of shows like WTF and other podcasts that are getting more intimate with comedians? Do you like it or think it’s best for a comedian to not have his/her personal side attached to his act?

I love WTF and other podcasts, I especially like it when my friend’s are on so I can find out all of their secrets and make fun of them for it. I think it helps you establish a relationship with fans that they feel like they get to know you personally. So to answer your question, it’s best.

Anonymous asked you:
This question is for Sean O. What was the first great standup concert you ever saw (live)?

Jim Gaffigan at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, NJ (2004). It was so awesome, my comedy career was one month old and I saw this show and freaked out. I think I threw away all of my jokes that night. 

Anonymous asked you:
Sean – what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you on the road?

One time I was in Atlanta like 5 years ago with Julian McCullough and TJ Miller was also in Atlanta at another club and we all went to this strip club named “Onyx.” We show up and we realized it was an African American strip club. It was a weird moment, then we went inside and it was the best time. It was like a BUTT FACTORY! There was a guy there wearing a professional wrestling championship belt pouring money out of a sack onto a ladies butt and I was there just wishing I was a little bit cooler.

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Sean, how many shows would you say that you do in a week?

When I lived in NY, 8-10. Now that I’ve moved to LA, 3 or 4. When I’m on the road, it’s usually 6 in a weekend. I hope that confusing answer - answered your question.  

Anonymous asked you:
For Sean: how do you write your jokes? Like do you sit at a table and think for a while or they come up in conversation?

They come up in conversation, every time I write a joke while sitting down it tends to start with “What’s The Deal With…”. But when I was starting out, I always sat at a table and wrote.  

Anonymous asked you:
Sean, what did you do after taping your special?

I was on an emotional high and I went to a bar with Jonah Ray and our girlfriends and our friends that were in town. Then overdosed on congratulations.  

Anonymous asked you:
Sean! What was your favorite show that you ever did???

The Sinking Ship in Indianapolis, Indiana. It was the greatest show I’ve ever had. It’s this cool - punk dive bar where everybody looks like Kyle Kinane and I had the most fun I’ve ever had doing stand up there. 

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That’ll do it for this installment of Ask a Professional Comedian. A sincere thanks to Sean O’Connor for participating and to everyone who sent in questions!

The Half Hour: Sean O’Connor premiere tomorrow night at 12:30a/11:30c, right after The Half Hour: Dan St. Germain.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Sean O’Connor

Anonymous asked you:
Sean O’Connor, do you really like Ke$ha? What’s your favorite $ong?

I really love Ke$ha. She’s awesome. Everyone should watch her MTV show because it sums up perfectly why she should be America’s sweetheart.

Favorite song: “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”, you will never guess what that song is about. 

Anonymous asked you:
Sean: Why should I watch your special?

Because you’ve never heard of me before. Remember back when you had never heard of whoever your favorite comic is now? Remember when you found him? Pretty good, right? Let’s give me a whirl.

Anonymous asked you:
Question for Sean: what’s norm macdonald like in person?

Norm is the best in person, he only gives rocks instead of handshakes and high fives. He also likes to eat chicken.

Anonymous asked you:
For Sean O’Connor: What’s your advice for a new stand-up?

Go to as many open mics as possible, get good, move to NY, go to as many open mics as possible, get better, move to LA and then star in a sitcom.

Also, don’t tweet too much, it burns your creativity.

Anonymous asked you:
Sean O’connor are you coming to Tulsa anytime soon??

I would love to. But is it just going to be me and you there?

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Sean O’Connor is answering your questions right now! Submit them here, then be sure to watch The Half Hour: Sean O’Connor tomorrow night at 12:30a/11:30c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Sean O’Connor

The Half Hour: Sean O’Connor premieres this Friday night at 12:30a/11:30c, and tomorrow he’ll be answering your questions here on our Tumblr.

You can start submitting questions now, but be sure to mention they’re for Sean.

In the meantime, click the image to watch a clip from the special.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Pete Holmes

isaidgoodpeacock asked you:
For Petey (can I call you Petey? Sorry,) I mean Mr. Holmes: Is there a way I can have brunch with you? No? Can I make it for you then? How do you like your eggs? -Emily (one of your tumblr sister-wives)

Yes. If you ever see me at brunch with Chelsea, please rescue me from her unending onslaught of hilarious insults. I much prefer the company of a gaggle of Tumblr sister wives, and she hates when fans say hello to me because she can see how much I love it. So yes.

midnitelite asked you:
For Pete: How do you think your comedy style has changed between this special and your last CD?

Hopefully it’s still all coming from a silly, fun place, but the content has evolved and matured because my life has evolved and matured. So there’s topics covered in NTTD that just weren’t in my life when I recorded Impregnated With Wonder. This special was written while I was single for the first time in my life, so dealing with the challenges of that (and the joys of that — I don’t think I could’ve performed a joke like “I hate my girlfriend’s friends” if I had a girlfriend, you know? Unless she was reaaaaaaally understanding and drunk most of the time) — the topics are a little deeper I suppose (coping with being alone, trying to learn how to impress women by acting like Gosling), but it’s still coming from the perspective of a lumbering goofus.

Anonymous asked you:
For Pete: Are you aware of the sisterwives coalition you have on Tumblr? We are a proud lot. And we love you.

Would you think less of me if I said that I was very much aware of you guys and that it makes me happy? I hope not. Who doesn’t like to be loved on? :)

casanovajones asked you:
This is for good ole Petey Pants: Pubic hair: shaved, trimmed or jungle?

Trim that shit! It’s not just for ladies anymore. Fellas, you can’t have six-inch Tim-Burton-Sleepy-Hollow-tree-limb pubes jetting out all willy nilly if you except anyone to enjoy their time in the bone zone. You don’t have to go to a spa or anything. Just sciss that shiz. Or a small, controlled fire, if you’re a badass.

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That’s going to do it for our third and final Q&A of the day. A big sincere thanks to Pete Holmes for doing this and to everyone out there who sent in questions.

Pete Holmes: Nice Try, The Devil premieres Sunday at 11/10c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Pete Holmes

atreatiseonself-inquiry asked you:
For Pete Holmes: (FYI I love your podcast) Since you’re winding your way into extreme fame, what rad thing are you gong to do to once you get into the illuminati? Do you tell duncan trussell the truth?

This is the perfect question. I won’t consider myself truly successful until I’m approached by the Illuminati, the Freemasons or preferably some other secret society so secret it hasn’t had all it’s secrets spilled by the History channel. Then yes: I will definitely let Duncan Trussell in on the truth. Or, more likely, he’ll surprise-reveal himself as one of the chanting men in tasteful maroon robes. Then we’ll laugh about aliens, mind control, aspartame — all the big conspiracies.

Anonymous asked you:
Why are you a comedian?

It was either this or lead worship at my church’s Youth Group, and they already have a really rockin’ dude who loves the Lord.

currentsingleladyfuturecatlady asked you:
For Pete Holmes, AKA Ole Petey Pants: What are some of the best things that have come about from your podcast You Made It Weird? Also, what types of things can we expect from your new talk show on TBS this fall?

Whenever people tell me the podcast has helped them through a hard time or helped them grow or moved them in some way I always say “me too.” And it’s true! It’s as helpful, entertaining and fun as it is for the biggest fan of the show. That, and having an excuse to hang out with my friends and people I admire for a couple hours. It’d be weird to say, “Hey, want to talk to me for three hours in a small room?” But if we’re recording it, for some reason Jon Hamm shows up. :)

As for the TBS show, I like to think the TV show already exists, it’s just in lots of different places. The TBS show will take all those components and give them a home. So, it’ll be like my standup, the videos me, Oren Brimer and Matt McCarthy make (www.frontpagefilms.com), and my interviews (conversations, really. You Made It Weird on iTunes). So, we’ll take the best parts of all three of those things and put them into one silly, fun half hour that’s on past my bedtime.

lauraigiveupyouwin asked you:
Uhh, hey, Peter! What’s your relationship with your brother? Maybe I haven’t been listening enough (you never can, obviously; I’m sure the latest ones get longer as you listen to them, which isn’t an issue, of course), but you never seem to talk about it.

My brother is a wonderful and talented musician, artist and writer who is very funny (altho he’s not a “comedian”). You can see/hear his stuff at www.drholmes33.com. He produces rap beats for rappers in Boston (What? Really.). The older I get the more I realize we have in common, but we weren’t suuuuuper close growing up. Which is why he doesn’t come up that much I imagine. But I love him and he’s great!

precociousjew asked you:
This is for Ol’ Petey Pants, Any chance you’ll be doing a live You Made It Weird in LA sometime this summer?

Oh yeah, tons. We’ll be doing more in LA for sure, but there’ll be live pods all over the country I imagine. We have some coming up in Montreal, Indiana, Chicago… All over, y’all! Tour dates will be posted on www.peteholmes.com (they never have been before, but I have someone responsible updating it now!).

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Pete Holmes is taking your questions right now!

Click here to submit a question, then be sure to watch Pete Holmes: Nice Try, The Devil, Sunday at 11/10c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Joe DeRosa

Anonymous asked you:
Joe DeRosa: got any advice for an aspiring stand-up?

Just work hard and enjoy yourself. If you do those two things you’ll never self-sabotage. 

Anonymous asked you:
Joe, what was it like being on Louie? Is Louis CK cool?

“Louie” was an amazing experience. That show is terrific, so to get to be a part of it was an honor. Louie gave me a bunch of extra lines on set that really brought my character to life. I can’t express how grateful I was for that. He’s a true artist, which are VERY hard to come by. And a nice guy…which are VERY hard to come by. I think he’s cool as hell. 

Anonymous asked you:
Joe enjoyed watching you and Brody Stevens drum on Push and Believe. If you could play drums for any band, what band would it be?

Why, the GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD, of course: BAD RELIGION.

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Joe, how would you compare the experience of taping your Half Hour, to taping your Comedy Central Presents?

Well, one took about 30 minutes, whereas the other took about 30 minutes. The first time around I was flattered to get to do one. The second time around I was honored to be asked back. But both times it took roughly a half hour.  

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That’s it for this edition of Ask a Professional Comedian. A big thanks to Joe DeRosa for participating and to everyone who sent in questions!

Don’t miss Joe’s Half Hour tonight at 12:30a/11:30c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Joe DeRosa

Anonymous asked you:
Joe: If you weren’t doing stand-up, what would your dream job be?

Like all stand-ups, my other dream job would be musician.  

Anonymous asked you:
Joe: What is the longest set that you have ever done?

When I recorded my new album “Never Believe” I did about an hour and twenty minutes. Hopefully that wasn’t too long. I guess we’ll find out when it gets released.   

Anonymous asked you:
Joe DeRosa, who is your favorite comic of all time?

George Carlin. The first time I ever saw him I was 12 and he was performing on HBO. The special was called “Doin’ It Again” and it was amazing. I couldn’t believe there was a job where you could get on stage and tell a room full of people your opinions. I was hooked on George Carlin and comedy from there on out.

Anonymous asked you:
Question for Joe Derosa. What’s your favorite place to work?

Philadelphia. It’s home, so it’ll always be the best.

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Joe DeRosa’s Half Hour special premieres tonight at 12:30a/11:30c, but right now he’s answering your questions here on our Tumblr. Submit them here.