Here’s what’s trending only at The Jeselnik Offensive:
ChurchofSatan.com is THE official website of the Church of Satan. Don’t even bother to look for some lame impostor Church of Satan website.
The Church of Satan does not fuck around. It’s dedication to man’s true nature as “a carnal beast, living in a cosmos that is indifferent to our existence” cannot be questioned.
Like any good website, Church of Satan has an FAQ section. So, what holidays do satanists celebrate?
Why, Satan’s birthday, of course. Also, don’t feel any obligation to celebrate Satan’s birthday. The Church isn’t unreasonable and has a no pressure, casual ‘tude.
And, the Church also shares it’s “everything in moderation” policy on drug use.
No pressure to do drugs, but shoot ‘em if you got ‘em.
Lastly, the Church of Satan is an open-minded organization, stating it’s unabashed support for gay marriage.
I’m sure gay marriage advocates would love to have the Church of Satan on their side.
From what we can tell here, The Church of Satan is made up of a bunch laid-back, open-minded folks who simply recognize that we’re all carnal beasts.
So, if you’ve got some idle hands, visit ChurchofSatan.com.
New Jeselnik Offensive tomorrow at 10:30/9:30c after Tosh.