Welcome back guys. This is my dog Abbott in the bathtub:

Okay anyway… so I’m pretty sure that I’m not really “bringin it” the way I thought I would to the writers room this year. This is now the 7th week straight that I’ve pitched either a Harry Potter or a Hunger Games sketch only to be abruptly and I think, if I may, foolishly denied. Who have been the main perpetrators of this censorship? None other than the producers of the show: Amy Schumer, Jessi Klein, and Dan Powell. Finger-on-the-pulse-of-what’s-hip-and-edgy-in-comedy? I think not madams and sir.

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Welcome back guys. We are almost 2 months into the writing process of Inside Amy Schumer Season 2, and shit is getting real. I’m not trying to brag you guys, but this little lady was outside our office the other day and caused us to be about 3 minutes late:

And fuck you, yes I put a dog in every blog. What are you all, heroes? 

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Welcome back guys. This week, Amy came to visit me in Chicago and gave me this panda shirt:

She had to do two shows this weekend, but mostly we ate apples and peanut butter and watched Judge Judy. Amy’s truest motivation for visiting is that she gets to see my dog Abbott. Abbott fucking loves Amy. He loves Amy and tolerates me.

While she was visiting, we worked on some scenes for season two. Kyle wrote a scene about people who play the recorder in a church band. He titled it Hot Crossed Nuns. Amy and I read the scene to Abbott and here is what he did with it.

While certainly no one is trying to deter Kyle from continuing to give this whole writing thing a try, I think it’s safe to say the scene will not appear in IAS Season 2.

Questions:

Thank you to everyone who wrote in their questions to BesideAmySchumer@gmail.com. Here are your answers…

Chas – Your question about Amy and the comparison you made regarding your sister was thought-provoking and deep.  My description of her would tend to vary from your own however, as I am not (I’m guessing) a 23 year old ex-fratboy who equates being the loud one of the group as being the funny one. I disagree with whatever weak mouse of a girl ever told you that, “Yeah you should totally try stand-up.”

Jonathan – Please know that I am with you. I would LOVE to dedicate a daily blog to those dogs so you can watch them grow as we do. Unfortunately, Comedy Central would probably prefer I focus less energy and time on dogs and more on IAS in general, a feat which has somehow managed to escape me yet again this week.

John – You asked why the word for “a fear of long words (hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia)” is so long. I have quantephobia, so I won’t be answering your question.

Dan and Wife – I don’t know the answer to your question about Anthony Jeselnik’s clothing. I’m assuming however that as he is a grown up, he does his own shopping…not his mother.

Dave – I’m not sure what the easiest way to get onto TV is. You can get a bachelor’s degree in theatre, study the Meisner technique under William Esper for 2 years, then go on the road doing stand-up for 10 years. Or you could do what I did and just have a sister who did all of the above.

Dan L. – Thank you but Amy and I won’t be joining you in AC. Please don’t take it personally, we just have this weird thing about not wanting to risk getting raped or murdered for free bottles at a club. Have a blast though!

Beside Amy Schumer with Amy’s Sister Kim

PART 1: Dogs

Welcome back guys. On the pros and cons list of working on IAS Season 2, those dogs are the biggest pro.

Here is what a typical day for the writers look like, and how these dogs factor in.

 12:00 – 2ish: The writers sit together around a conference table in an office space in Chelsea. Kurt performs his latest beat poetry. Neil is usually into it for a while, then disassociates. Next, everyone pitches scene ideas and Emily makes some lanyard friendship bracelets.

 2:15 – 3:00: We break for lunch. Amy and I usually walk a few blocks to a little sushi place near the office. The sushi itself is pretty dope but this is not why we go there. We go there for those goddamn dogs who are prominently displayed in the window next to the restaurant.  Amy and I usually visit these fucking miracles in shifts. I will take the first shift while she orders the food for us. Then while we are waiting for the food to come, she will tap me out and I will return to the restaurant in a deep depression, wishing I could have stayed longer.

 3:00 – 6:00: After lunch, we walk back to the office where there is usually at least two types of cookies to chose from on the conference table. For a room filled to the brim with, to quote Amy,  “morally bankrupt” people, there is a great deal of politeness and self-sacrifice related to the cookies. The rest of the afternoon is spent finishing scene pitches. Some are met with a collective “eh,” while others are greeted with laughter and a  “Yesssss!”

PART 2: Questions

Last week, I invited you guys to email me your questions for the writers at BesideAmySchumer@gmail.com. While I thank most of you for refraining from sending me a junk shot, I have to say that my favorite email came from our dad who wrote the following:

“You’re right baby…Kurt Metzger and I really do look a lot alike. “

Dad, that was comment, not a question. I appreciate your support but please get your shit together.

Here are answers to some of your other questions:

-Yes, Kristin, Jessi Klein has heard that she looks like Natalie Portman.

-No Doug, dating me as a ploy to eventually date Amy would not work. Amy prefers to date people who have not had their genitals anywhere near me. She’s weird that way.

- Geo asked what Amy’s character was supposed to have witnessed in the Multiple Personality scene. It was a murder. The cops say it at the very beginning of the scene. Incidentally, I still laugh out loud when I think about Amy saying “I…sars…a moon with a goon.” 

Thank you for your questions and please keep them coming.

Needless to say, this was an overwhelming week for the Inside Amy Schumer team. Tempers were running high as everyone waited with bated breath over the royal announcement:

In addition to Amy, there are some faces in the video that fans of the show will no doubt find familiar. Jessi Klein and Kurt Metzger have returned after writing some of my favorite scenes from Season 1. Jessi wrote the 4-Handed Massage scene that Jim Norton and Bobby Kelly starred in. This picture was taken of Amy and the guys this week at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival:

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Welcome back guys. We are two weeks into the making of Inside Amy Schumer’s second season. When I envisioned writing this blog, I imagined that I would say things like, “Get ready to laugh,” and “Wow season 2 is going to be a real hoot.” Now after being privy to the writers room and hearing the scene ideas and pitches for a week, all I can say is hold on to your fucking hats. This room is filled with people who are smart, perceptive, and unapologetic. I think it is all of those underlying characteristics that translate into them being absolutely hilarious. Getting a laugh from this room is like having a model wink at you. One of the returning writers is Kyle Dunnigan.

Though Kyle has not yet written any scenes, given any input, or been “present” in the room at all yet this season, he did craft a sign for Amy’s office door:

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Welcome friends and fans. The creation of Season 2 of Inside Amy Schumer has just begun, and it is my privilege to be able to blog about the process. How did I secure this most prestigious of positions as Amy’s Blogger, you might ask? Well, I submitted an extensive resume and application, went through several grueling rounds of face-to-face interviews with the show’s Executive Producers, and took like three typing tests. In the end however, I think that what helped me the most to get the job is that I am Amy’s sister. Younger sister. She’s like way (4 years) older than me.

And so I write this blog with three distinct readers in mind:

1. For the readers who have stumbled upon this blog at 2:30am because they can’t sleep and they saw a YouTube video of Amy and thought she was hot, so further research lead them here but their attention span is too short to read a blog of more than a few sentences. For you, please feel free to enjoy the following four lines then click on to something else immediately: Hey everyone! Amy and the gang went back to the writer’s room this week to begin working on Season Two of Inside Amy Schumer. Check back here for pictures, updates, and a closer look at what really goes in to making this awesome show. Here’s a picture of a crazy cat!

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